Scientists May have Cracked Code to Crunchatize Humans

The creation of genetically identical copies of humans in the cartoon world has always been the stuff that dreams are made of. But recent rumors from the depths of the internet suggest that a Japanese group of scientists may be on the brink of a breakthough. A weak signal that was detected by an American GRADAR system suggests a new presence in the cartoon world.

Despite the vast amount of concealed research that was done in the 1960's, it is difficult to comprehend what the cartoon world actually is, or what type of matter or digital waves make up the unexplored segment of hypercyberspace. A secret project from the mid 20th century was so overwhelmingly cutting edge for its time, that the department of defense decided to shut it down and destroy all of the research papers and Card Random Access Memory (CRAM) blocks that the data was stored on.

"Cloning is child's play compared to this" - Anonymous Clone

Imagine a world where humans wouldn’t age and their genetic make-up would be preserved indefinitely into the future. There would be no sickness and no danger of any sort in such a world. A person who fell off a cliff would be able to get up and walk away totally unharmed. If such a dimension were to exist, it could drastically change life as we know it.

In the late 2020’s the United States developed a system that relied on the universe’s total gravitational pull to detect and pinpoint matter that could enter or exit the real world. A leaked photograph proves to be quite concerning to Americans, that the Japanese have been the first to advance Crunchatization technology to a new level.

Japanese science minister, Nagasaki Sexwhale, was contacted by DARPA, but no reply was ever received. GRADAR indicators have been acting up according to an internal brief by the US government, but it is still unknown what dangers or benefits a potential discovery would mean for the residents of Earth and Mars. A Crunchatized human may no longer be of this world, and could possess extraordinary power...

Mysteriously distorted image leaked from hypercyberspace