Elon Musk Says No More Traffic in “Two Years”; Readies to Hand Over First Model H

Tesla is preparing to launch the Model H at a corporate event that will broadcast live in just under an hour, from its headquarters on Second Quadrant, Mars. The Model H is a highly anticipated product; Elon Musk first announced that Tesla had been working on such a revolutionary vehicle back in 2029. The company's success builds on previous vehicles, Model S, Model C, and so forth. Model H completes the coveted SCHM3XY acronym, which founder Elon Musk’s renowned dream and Tesla’s only trademark.

What exactly does Model H bring to the table? The first completely electric helicopter of its kind. It uses un-patented Solar Blade technology to collect 11% more sunlight, and can slice through thick atmospheres like butter. The chopper can travel 2300 miles on a single charge, has flawless routing logistics, and of course has Song Prediction to play any song before the owner requests it.

H-Pads are currently being installed on the rooftops of existing super charger stations. Owners can simply land and grab a coffee while Model H fully charges itself using hyper-induction technology in under 5 minutes.

"In two years Model H will reduce intra-planetary traffic by 100%." Musk said in an interview with TFP.

You can reserve your Model H for just $10000 USD down payment, whose starting price for the base model is just $99,000 USD. At that price, Tesla is practically giving them away. For just $5000 more, you can upgrade to the winter package which includes heated blades and landing skis. All models include octal motors and the mandatory self-flying software. Thus no experience is necessary to fly the personal chopper. Model H will be shipped via Model H directly to your dome or other type of residence. Owners will get a free Tesla Flyers Group hat with every purchase.